„Mindest – how you can fulfil your potential”, by Carol Dweck is a great guidline for improving our perception about life in every area (business, parenting, school, relationships).
With relevant and various examples, the author encourages us to quit the limitting minsets that has been implanted into our belief sistem and embrace a flexible minset oriented on personal growth and enlarged vision.
Here are the main ideas from the book:
„- every word and action from parent to child sends a message. Tomorrow, listen to what you say to your kids and tune in to the messages you’re sending. Are they messages that say:”you have permanent traits and I’m judging them”? Or are they messages that say „You’re a developing person and I’m interested in your development”.
– how do you praise? Remember that praising children’s intelligence or talent, tempting as it is, sends a fixed mindset message. It makes their confidence and motivation more fragile. Instead, try to focus on the process they used- their strategies, effort or choises. Practice working the process praise into your intentions with your children.
-watch and listen to yourself carefully when your child messes up. Remember that constructive criticism is feedback that helps the child understand how to fix something. It’s not feedback that lables or simply excuses the child.
-parents often set goals their children can work toward. Remember that having innate talent is not a goal. Expanding skills and knowledge is. Pay careful attention to the goals you set for your children.
– if you’re a teacher, lowering standards doesn’t raise students self esteem. But neither does raising standards without giving students ways of reaching them. The growth mindset gives you a way to set high standards and have students reach them. Try presenting topics in a growth framework and giving students process feedback.
-do you think of your slower students as kids who will never be able to learn well? Do they think of themselves as permanently dumb? Instead, try to figure out what they don’t understand and what learning strategies they don’t have. Remember that great teachers believe in the growth of talent and intellect, and are fascinated by the process of learning.
– are you a fixed-mindset coach? Do you think first and foremost about your record and your reputation? Are you intolerant of mistakes? Do you try to motivate your players though judgement? That may be what’s holding up your athletes. Try on the growth mindset. Instead of asking for mistake free games, ask for full commitment and full effort. Instead of judging the players, give them the respect and the coaching they need to develop.
– as parents, teachers and coachers, our mission is developing people’s potential. Let’s use all the lessons of the growth mindset- and whatever else we can- to do this.” (Minset; C. Dweck; p. 211-212)